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acertaintragedy


i think i might be in love with leslie feist.

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acertaintragedy
so i received an email last night concerning my latest "job escapades." of course i did not get a job offer. OF COURSE NOT.

life hates me.

i did, however, finally get some encouragement to pull from these template "we picked someone else" emails i love receiving so often.

i was told that in the process after meeting me they had changed my focus originally coming in (working in the security team) to one more suited to my background (infrastructure team). after assessing needs in that group, they determined that they were fully staffed for that role and couldn't make me an offer. on the bright side, i'm at a point where in the next few weeks/months/whatever if they do have positions open...they would send me an offer.

so it's a non-rejection rejection basically. we want you but we don't need you yet.

i don't know if i should be happy, sad, or just neutral.

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acertaintragedy
5 random thoughts:

1. one of the best parts about living on my own over the years has been the fact that i have complete control of the food that i bring into the house. i don't have to rely on my parents buying crappy food loaded with high fructose and all the other crap that i grew up overindulging in. i have been thinking about the fact that people our age generally have a tendency to go with a convenience diet over eating homemade stuff every day. i think for myself it's mostly because i'm not versed enough in cooking to put random dishes together with things i have in the house. i think if i could build up a solid base of healthier/easy to create dishes on the fly it would be extremely beneficial.

2. i'm by no means an alcoholic but i'm starting to wonder how alcohol has factored into my inability to lose weight over the years. the fact i drink maybe 2 times a week (usually moderate) kind of rules out the "empty calories" idea but i know that blood sugar levels can factor into the mix and most people completely forget that in the end all alcohol is created by fermenting what is essentially sugar water. i think giving up drinking a beer or two in social events may actually be more difficult than quitting smoking for me at this point.

3. i need to start wearing more pads in hockey. i'm starting to bruise like a 75 year old man.

4. i've spent a lot of time in recent weeks/months taking into consideration that my desire to be helpful and give advice to those in need can sometimes seem a little pushy or "i'm better than you" when i have no intentions for it to be. i don't have specific instances. only the vibes i receive at times. i guess i'm a little different than your average "i told you so" type because i only want the best for everyone that i call a friend. more strategic interjections make me feel a little less like a know it all.

5. i spend every day wishing that i could start my career. it's not the fact that i have limited funds. it's not the fact that i struggle to get through every day bored as hell while being unemployed. i am just ready to start a new chapter in life and it is all being held up by the job front.

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acertaintragedy


part of me finds maury povich hilarious.

the other part of me watches this clip and wonders why they bother showing it. it's like each girl watched the previous girls episode and tried to one up her.

one girl says that obama getting into office gave her the right to do what she wants. that's wild.

cheers to the naivety of the youth.

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acertaintragedy
i haven't had much going on concerning interviews recently with the exception of another failed attempt at getting into thomson reuters. the disadvantage of my job searching (and what i ran into with TR) is that i have lots of experience thanks to my retail and desk jobs over the years but i'm applying to positions that are only relevant to my education.

so i received an email from a huge tech company i've been trying to leverage my way into for years now tonight that has my happy and sad all in one. the reality is that i'm at the last step of their interview process and in a couple weeks i'm getting flown to DC for the last step. chicago is at the top of my list (and their consideration) but i'm also being considered for stuff in DC, philly, and NYC. of course i'm extremely excited about the potential for this opportunity and i'm ready to jump on the plane tomorrow and secure my spot. the downside, however, is something i imagine many people face when they face potentially moving away when they've been dating someone for awhile.

i haven't had any problems with my current relationship. not a single complaint to be honest with you. whether i get this gig or not i can't help but wonder....what's next? i don't think i'm ready to settle down by any means and a relatively young relationship is not something i'm willing to fast forward everything for but at the same time i don't want it to feel like we've put in all this effort for nothing. i'm just so afraid i won't find a job in michigan i can't pass on at least seeing if this is the right opportunity for me.

i've made an effort to sprinkle in the "if i can find something in michigan" related seeds throughout the last couple months but it hasn't caused any problems. i think the possibility of me leaving is a known reality. we're just at the point where we don't want to talk about it.

i guess only time will tell how things develop.

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acertaintragedy
i think one of the worst parts about being unemployed when you're young has to be the reluctance many of us have when it comes to health care. primarily the fact that many of us do not have health care based on affordability and none of us want to look into what is going on in fear of high bills over any kind of crazy illness/physical injuries we may end up with in the long run.

i have to say i've been the worst when it comes to health related things because for many years i had health care. i worked through college full-time in jobs that gave me the opportunity to go to the doctor with low costs. things are different now and i feel lame for not taking advantage while i could.

i technically have health care. i found a plan through blue cross blue shield designed for those that "don't get sick often" for $50 a month. the plan itself is not great but i guess something is better than nothing at this point.

with all that being said...i think in the last year i've progressively come to the point where i actually feel as old as i say i am. i guess it's the years of reckless abandon slowly creeping up on me. aside from the lingering tiredness that troubles me periodically i have also discovered a new problem unlike any i've had before: lower back pain.

i don't really want to go to the doctor to get it checked out. some people talk about their sore backs and it's an off again on again type scenario. i'm fearful that this could be something different, though. i feel like i know myself pretty well (tolerances, causes of aches and pains, etc) but this one is completely throwing me for a loop. it's been almost 2 weeks since it's started. i have no idea how i played hockey with it on going considering when i'm home i try to move as little as possible to avoid discomfort.

anyway, on a positive note i will be graduating grad school on saturday. i decided to walk in the ceremony since this will be my 3rd degree and i've yet to walk in one. i'm excited about being able to say i finished. time will tell if it ends up helping me.

other than school, back pain, and my constant search for new employment i have been doing pretty well. everything about my living situation is still great (even if i'd love to live in a cooler city). my family is still doing well. dad is maintaining as well as he can despite his scroll of health problems. mom actually took classes at college to become a CNA which is crazy considering she is barely educated outside of college (but it's super awesome).

i'm looking forward to this summer.

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acertaintragedy


oh, technology.

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acertaintragedy
i found this on ben roethlisberger's wikipedia page concerning his first "incident":

"...the next night she said Roethlisberger telephoned her to tell her that the television sound system in his room wasn't working and asked her to look at it. The woman said she determined that the TV was functioning properly, but as she turned to leave he stood in front of the door and blocked her, then grabbed her and started to kiss her. According to the lawsuit, the woman required hospitalization for treatment for depression after the alleged attack."

so what they're saying as far as i'm concerned is that big ben basically devised this awesome scheme, tried to kiss a girl, got rejected, and then had a law suit on his hands.

glad i'm not famous.

YET.

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acertaintragedy
i still can't figure out why people insist on giving me gifts that involve actual douches.

i've probably received more douches than any other man in the entire world (that doesn't actually use them).

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acertaintragedy
every time i see a picture with a girl and horse in it i think...damn. i really know a lot of girls that love horses.

?

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